Father’s Day is a time to celebrate fathers and express gratitude for the sacrifices they make for their families. Today’s dads are more involved in their children’s lives than ever — up more than an hour per week over the last two decades.
That increased involvement — from activities like playing with children, talking with them, showing affection and being involved in their development — directly impacts fathers’ self-evaluations, according to a 2025 study published in Social Science Research by Patrick Ishizuka, assistant professor of sociology in Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis.
Using data from the Future of Families and Child Wellbeing Study, Ishizuka found that intensive parenting activities and full-time employment strongly predict more positive self-evaluations for mothers and fathers across social classes — suggesting that caregiving is not just central to motherhood. It has also become central to fatherhood.
At the same time, more traditional expectations of fathers as providers have not disappeared, Ishizuka said.
“Earnings, homeownership and long work hours were positively associated with fathers’ self-evaluations, but not mothers.’ Fathers are not simply moving from an old breadwinner model to a new caregiving model. Instead, they appear to be measuring themselves against both standards,” he said.
In the study, economically disadvantaged fathers who do not live with their children were most likely to report negative self-evaluations, which Ishizuka said could impact their commitment to their parenting role. The findings highlight the unique challenges economically disadvantaged parents face.
“Good parenting is not something parents achieve alone. It depends on cultural expectations, economic resources, workplace structures, family support and public policies,” Ishizuka said. “We should stop treating parenting struggles as individual failures. Parents are trying to meet very demanding ideals. The question is not just how individual parents can do better, but how workplaces, communities, schools and policies can make good parenting more possible.”
Below, Ishizuka answers questions about his study and what fathers need most this Father’s Day.
Why do self-evaluations matter?
Self-evaluations matter because they tell us something about how parents understand whether they are living up to cultural expectations of “good” parenting. Parenting is not just a set of behaviors. It’s also an identity.
In my study, I examine how mothers and fathers evaluate themselves as parents and how those self-evaluations are connected to caregiving and financial provision. These evaluations can affect parents’ sense of competence, guilt, pride and commitment to their role as parents. When parents feel that they are falling short, that is not just an individual psychological issue. It often reflects unrealistic, rigid or difficult-to-meet social expectations that parents are measuring themselves against.
Looking at mothers and fathers together also helps show how gendered cultural norms shape parenting expectations. For mothers, self-evaluations reveal the especially high standards attached to motherhood. In the study, mothers evaluated themselves more harshly than fathers once caregiving, employment, economic resources and other factors were taken into account. In other words, mothers and fathers can be doing similar things, but mothers appear to hold themselves to a higher standard or face a higher standard socially.
For fathers, self-evaluations show that fatherhood today is shaped by two powerful expectations: to be actively involved in caregiving and to provide financially.
What policies would help fathers most?
At the macro level, we need to design work and family policy around the reality that fathers are caregivers, not just workers. Paid parental leave, paid sick leave, predictable schedules, affordable childcare and workplace flexibility all matter. But these policies also need to be designed in ways that fathers can actually use them without stigma. If fathers technically have access to leave but are penalized for using it, those policies will not enable fathers to be fully engaged caregivers.
Economic supports also matter. Economic insecurity can make it harder for fathers to see themselves as successful parents. Policies that support stable employment, housing, childcare affordability and income security can help both fathers and mothers.
If we want fathers to be fully engaged caregivers, workplaces, families, schools and public policies have to make that involvement possible. Managers can avoid treating fathers’ caregiving responsibilities as optional or unusual. Pediatricians, schools and childcare providers can include fathers as default parents rather than secondary helpers. Families can also support fathers by recognizing the everyday work of caregiving, rather than only financial provision, as central to being a good dad.
Can fathers have it all?
My study suggests that fathers are navigating a version of “having it all,” although it looks somewhat different from the pressures faced by mothers.
For mothers, “having it all” often means being deeply engaged, intensive caregivers while also succeeding in paid work. But the work expectation for mothers is not exactly the same as the provider expectation for fathers. Mothers’ employment has become more expected and more central to family life, but mothers are not necessarily rewarded as mothers for high earnings or long work hours, especially when paid work is seen as competing with caregiving.
For fathers, the pressure increasingly runs in both directions. Fathers may feel pressure to work long hours to provide for their families while also feeling that being a good father requires time, attention and emotional availability at home.
Do men benefit from talking with other dads and sharing their parenting journey?
Fathers benefit from social connection, too. Parenting is easier when people have others they can turn to for advice, reassurance, practical help and a sense that their struggles are normal.
One challenge is that mothers are often more culturally expected to talk about parenting, seek advice and build social networks around children’s schools, activities and caregiving routines. Fathers may have fewer socially accepted spaces where they can say, “I’m struggling,” “I feel guilty,” or “I’m not sure I’m doing this right.”
That matters because my study shows that fathers’ self-evaluations are connected to both involvement and provision. Fathers may feel they are falling short in different ways, such as not earning enough, working too much, not spending enough time with children or not knowing how to navigate the emotional side of parenting. Supportive networks could help fathers feel less alone and stay connected and engaged with their children. The key is treating fathers not as helpers or backup parents, but as full parents who also need community.
