WashU senior Rachel Hochberg is not ready to say goodbye.
Tonight is her final Night Off, a free monthly babysitting event for children with autism. and she is going to miss these kids and their families.
“I feel like these are my children,” said Hochberg, Night Off family coordinator. “It’s been a big responsibility, one that I take extremely seriously. It’s also been one of the best experiences of my life.”
She gathers a group of more than 35 student volunteers in the Danforth University Center Fun Room for last-minute instructions: Don’t let the children play on the stairs, expect pizza around 6 p.m. and, please, stay off your phones.
“Remember, we’re really here to make connections with the kids,” Hochberg said.
Oh, and one more thing, chimes in Night Off President Samantha Evanoff, also a graduating senior.
“Because of all of the amazing work you’ve done, we were nominated for a Program with a Purpose Excellence in Leadership Award,” Evanoff said, referring to the annual Student Affairs Award. “It’s amazing because when we started we were just a teeny-tiny group with a few families, and now we have 70, 80 families who are part of Night Off. Now let’s get the children.”
Night Off is exactly that — a respite for parents and an opportunity for children with autism and their siblings to make new friends. The children range in age from toddlers to teenagers; some children are nonverbal and have physical disabilities; others need fewer supports. Each child is paired with a student volunteer. On this evening, most of the 32 kids and their WashU buddies play in the Fun Room. One group works silently on a floor puzzle while a volunteer sets up toy bowling pins for a teenage boy to knock down. Down the hall, a group of girls color in one room while other children watch a Disney movie in another.
Evanoff said the student volunteers are trained to understand their child’s verbal and nonverbal cues.
“It’s all about respect,” said Evanoff, who is majoring in philosophy-neuroscience-psychology in Arts & Sciences and aspires to be a pediatric emergency physician. “We talk to the volunteers about allowing extra time for processing, being mindful of sensory triggers and giving students a choice. We don’t say, ‘We’re going to go to this room now’ when we see that a child is overstimulated. We say, ‘Would you like to go watch a movie or would you like to go play a game?’”
Grace Guo, Night Off student coordinator, moves from room to room, saying hi to each child by name. She knows Baby Ray can recite a Star Wars dialogue by heart, Addie loves Taylor Swift and Louisa is a master at origami. She instructs one volunteer to take her child to the bathroom before dinner and reminds another to only let her child eat cheese pizza.
“One of the things I’ve learned is how to watch and anticipate what the children will need next,” said Guo, who is a pre-med student studying biochemistry in Arts & Sciences. “I’ve seen the kids grow more comfortable with every visit. And the students have grown too, building these really strong connections.”
One such pair are Maeve Vogl, a sophomore studying psychology in Arts & Sciences, and Tilly, an inquisitive third grader. The two have been buddies for every Night Off this year.
“Every time I fill out my form for the next session, I always say that I am happy to work with anyone, but that I really like working with Tilly,” Vogl said, giving Tilly a smile.
The two often draw, play hangman or play with Tilly’s sister, Sadie. Last month, Night Off fell on Tilly’s birthday, and she had the choice to come here or do something else.
“I wanted to come here,” she said. “Everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday.’ It was so fun.”
On this night, Tilly is wearing the second-place ribbon from the science fair. Maeve tells her that she is so proud, but Tilly is a little disappointed.
“I got first place last year,” Tilly said.
Tilly then asks Maeve what she wants to be when she grows up.
“A pediatrician, who is someone who works with kids,” Vogl answered. “I especially want to be specifically a developmental behavioral pediatrician.”
“Is that someone who works with autism?” Tilly asked.
Meanwhile, Hochberg is listening attentively to a teenager who is angry that his mother donated some of his toys to the group.
“I understand that you are frustrated and I am sorry that you feel that way,” Hochberg said. “Can you tell me a nice thing that your mom does for you?”
He cannot. But with gentle prodding, the boy tells Hochberg that his mom likes to surprise him. It takes a while, but eventually he is ready to play again.
“It’s not always easy,” said Hochberg, who is studying women, gender and sexuality studies in Arts & Sciences and also plans to be a physician someday. “We talk a lot to our volunteers about how to problem solve and attend to their differences. But, at the end of the day, they are kids. Like right now, he needed someone to listen and let him talk. We all know what that feels like. And so I tell volunteers to empathize and treat these kids how you would want to be treated.”
The pizza arrives, and Hochberg heads into the movie room. She finally has a moment to look at the flowers, cards and gifts families brought her and Evanoff in celebration of their graduation. But first, she pulls out her phone and heads to the front of the room.
“Does everyone want to look here?” she asks and snaps a photo. “That just made my whole day.”
Families who would like to learn more about Night Off may fill out this form.
