After both of her parents and both of her husband’s parents succumbed to Alzheimer’s disease over a 14-year period, Susan Rava knew she needed to write a book about the experience.
“The stark contrast between their lives with disease and their former lives convinced me that I had a tale to tell,” says Rava, PhD, senior lecturer emerita in French in Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis.
Her book, Swimming Solo, was released in January. The title comes from one July afternoon on the beach in Pentwater, Mich., observing her 81-year-old father-in-law, Paul, set out to swim solo across Lake Michigan; not long after, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
“I began to keep a journal to calm myself and to have a record of his decline for his doctors,” Rava says. “Then, when my own father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I added my observations and experiences with his illness to the journal. The journal fast filled up with everyday caregiving details, punctuated by crises. By the time my mother-in-law was diagnosed with likely Alzheimer’s disease, I was writing in the second volume of my journal.”
Rava pulled the journals apart and “filled the book with stories of our parents’ past, all four of whom had been vibrant, engaged and loving,” she says.
Swimming Solo has two strands: how caregivers evolve during an extended health crisis and how the disease plays out in four different cases.
Rava hopes readers find solace in the book.
“In my story, family, friends and professionals provide lifelines, buoys, even rescue,” she says. “At the most demanding times — doubts about placing a parent in an institution; violent behavior; accusations, for example, that I had stolen my father’s house — I was not alone. I learned to ask for help. I learned the balm of a neighborhood walk with my husband and dog.
“My hope is that Swimming Solo will serve as a buoy for caregivers and an affirmation that others have come through difficult caregiving experiences.
“It is sad and poignant at times,” Rava says of her memoir, “yet also full of warm moments and deep family solidarity.”